Yesterday I fell short of my illustrious goals...again.
I felt the anger and self hate begin to bubble up like an angry cauldron.
My eyes narrowed, shooting razor daggers at my own heart as she lay cowering below my breast.
My self worth began to hiss out of my body, deflating slowly as self loathing came barreling in ready to take its place.
"No," my soul cried,"Please, no."
But this is all too familiar.
Masochistically comfortable.
As my heart began to shield herself from the inevitable pummeling,
My soul rose up.
"I forgive you!" she whimpered.
Self loathing froze mid attack.
"I FORGIVE YOU!"
My heart timidly looked up.
"I FORGIVE YOU!!!!"
Self loathing, shocked and stunned by words that fell like a shield in front of my heart, began to back up, baring teeth as if to try and rally itself. But its attacks had been blocked.
For the first time ever, it had nothing to say and simply watched.
"And.....and....I love you. I love YOU."
My heart began to beat the powerful drum beat of the loved.
Staring at the now frozen self loathing she began to rise up.
Stunned, shaken, but rising up nonetheless.
One battle won.
Many more to go.
I felt the anger and self hate begin to bubble up like an angry cauldron.
My eyes narrowed, shooting razor daggers at my own heart as she lay cowering below my breast.
My self worth began to hiss out of my body, deflating slowly as self loathing came barreling in ready to take its place.
"No," my soul cried,"Please, no."
But this is all too familiar.
Masochistically comfortable.
As my heart began to shield herself from the inevitable pummeling,
My soul rose up.
"I forgive you!" she whimpered.
Self loathing froze mid attack.
"I FORGIVE YOU!"
My heart timidly looked up.
"I FORGIVE YOU!!!!"
Self loathing, shocked and stunned by words that fell like a shield in front of my heart, began to back up, baring teeth as if to try and rally itself. But its attacks had been blocked.
For the first time ever, it had nothing to say and simply watched.
"And.....and....I love you. I love YOU."
My heart began to beat the powerful drum beat of the loved.
Staring at the now frozen self loathing she began to rise up.
Stunned, shaken, but rising up nonetheless.
One battle won.
Many more to go.