Maybe it's the leaves transforming into flames on the branches, burning out and then falling to the ground spreading riotous piles of color everywhere.
Maybe it's the cool air and the freedom to throw open my windows and feel the breeze cleanse my home of summer's stifling heat.
Maybe it's the comfort of sweaters and scarfs and the yummy feeling of layering my clothes even more than I already do.
Perhaps it is the holidays, all the introspection that I happily indulge in during Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. I fall so easily into rediscovering my soul and that which I love during those days. I am comforted by the ritual and shofar blasts and I eagerly look forward to sukkot and the meals I will share with friends.
More that likely it is all that and more, because you see, it is hardly ever one thing with me. Many things will lead me this way and inspire me. Many things will add to my daily revelry and thoughts thrilling my soul along the way. And why shouldn't they? I am not one being. I am not the product of any one thing, or any one moment, or any one experience.
I was always envious of those people who have had that "ONE defining moment" that changed their lives forever. That one experience that made them lose weight, find G-d, move to the homestead, start the business, etc. I have never had that moment and I am now quite confident that I never will.
I am not one. I am, ONE.
I am a sum of my parts. A whole being filled with all the experiences of my life. Light and dark, positive and negative.
I am a myriad of thoughts and opinions. I am complex and sometimes even a bit confusing, but that is only if you try to figure me out.
Do us both a favor, stop doing that. That is about as useful as fixing a hole in the ocean.
I mean, I haven't figured me out and at times I even confuse myself!
Why? Well, because sometimes even I want me to fit into a cute little box tied up in a bow that I can just hand you and say, "Here I am!" But I can't. My soul is too big, much too big to fit in that box, no matter how cute it is.
Integrations. I am ONE. A whole being. Multi faceted and beautiful.
I think that is what it is about autumn. It is a season filled with similar integrations. Things are dying yet they are so filled with color and alive creating a breathtaking picture of life and death! The fields and trees are filled with harvest, yet the squirrels busily gather acorns feverishly hiding them for a time of seasonal famine. It is the whole picture of Life! It is so unlike the other seasons to me.
Not spring with its promise of new.
Not summer with its promise of frivolity and fun.
Not winter with its promise of rest.
No, autumn offers no real promise.
In this I find that Nature teaches us to simply accept what is. There is no promise really. It simply is. Just fiery shades of light and dark, dappled colors shiny brightly in the sun, calling us inward to simply be. It is quiet. It is burning. It is resting. It is pulling oneself back to the Source and resting in the beauty of what is.
I am ONE. No promise except to be.
I am fiery passion and watery emotion.
I am sage wisdom and childlike innocence.
I am Victorian lace and Harley Davidson Leather.
I am an edgy Urban Shaman and a cottage dwelling wisewoman.
I am a Spiritual Guide and an occasional atheist.
All of this is me. The Whole. The Integration of all I am and all my experiences.
My Journey and my Story.
Does this resonate with you dear reader?
I thought it might because I know I am not unique in this. Many, many of us are this way.
We are autumn. We are integrations.